Customer Reviews:
Heavy breathing, and slopping chops!.......2006-07-13
Not one for any vampire lover at all. Fair enough my other half got his "kicks" from the chest shots, and the lesbian moments, but rating this movie is the best thing that could happen to it - it deserves to be shoved in the bin. Mr Kemp's acting was, to say the least, as if he had just come out of Eastenders.......ooops, or was it before? lol
The storyline was sweet (but old and done many a time!) the action (what action?) sucked.
Speaking of sucking - Mr Kemp looked like a rat eating a peice of cheese when he was supposed to be biting the girlies necks - and someone please tell me..........what is so erotic about licking a door? Especially with your nose squashed into the wood! Erm yummy? NOT! The sound quality of the movies is beyong the least - a hand held microphone purchased from Argos - you could hear every swallow - slop - slap and it was horrendous!!
Buy this movie if you fancy a giggle at the "cornyness" of the whole film - otherwise, give it a miss.
Charmed indeed - if you have a healthy appetite for cheese.......2006-05-03
There will always be a great pulling power to small, mostly forgotten movies starring now well known actors and (more frequently) actresses getting naked and naughty 'before they were famous.' In which case the distributors of this little picture must be rubbing their hands with glee, for they have not one but two popular stars getting down and dirty, back in 1994: Martin Kemp and (most significantly) Alyssa Milano.
Anyone approaching Embrace Of The Vampire should be clear on one thing straight away: this is NOT horror. This is that curious model of glossy, well-groomed softcore that would like to be known as 'Erotica' but is now more commonly known on these shores as 'Channel 5 Porn.' Given that the cover of this edition bears a recommendation from that cornerstone of British journalism, The Sport, it's quite clear to whom the distributors expect this disc to appeal. And I won't lie: I'm a big fan of Charmed, and my main impetus behind buying this was to see the fabulous Ms Milano in states of undress. And, as such, this film was in no way a disappointment. Voyeuristic naughty boys like myself should be more than satisfied by the ammount of Alyssa on display here.
Interesting to note, however, that while this is most likely to be of interest to horny men, the writers and director of this film are in fact women. Clearly this is intended to be a provocative exploration into burgeoning female sexuality, as Alyssa's Catholic virgin falls deeper into desire under the dreamlike influence of Kemp's Vampire, who believes she is his lost love from his mortal days reincarnated. But it's no surprise that the scenarios and character developments are more than a little on the unconvincing side. It doesn't help matters that Kemp is so terribly miscast: his vocal mannersims are clumsy, his performance misjudged, his wardrobe frankly perplexing (now we know where Spike from Buffy got his look...).
Even so, it is refreshing to see a vampire movie that doesn't lapse into another apocalyptic battle scenario, and deals soley with the sexual side of the mythology. But all in all the greatest amusement comes from the frequent, unabashed use of trashy romance novel melodramatics. Behold how Alyssa's flowing white gown blows in the breeze as she walks (chest first) in a trance under the full moon; laugh loudly as the exposure of her breasts is accompanied by a gasp and a sudden surge in the music. Few people will admit to liking this sort of thing in public, myself included; but hey, so long as it's behind closed doors and between consenting adults, there's no one standing in judgement here.
Customer Reviews:
Out of the way Kemp I'm trying to see Alyssa!.......2004-03-01
Without apologies I got this because Alyssa Milano played an eye-filling role in it early in her career, and she still looks as drop dead gorgeous these days on the tv series 'Charmed'.
I wouldn't be a watch every show type, but she is simply so perfectly beautiful I decided to treat myself.
Not much to say.......2004-02-26
For anyone interested in watching this film one thing to say..."Don't bother". The acting is so poor it's laughable, the plot is wafer thin and there are some scenes that are very cliched lazy attempts at soft porn. There is a scene for example when the heroine, Milano, who is playing a virginal, frigid student brought up by nuns allows her self to be seduced by a lesbian student just after moralistically telling her boyfriend that they should hold off until marriage.This scene was obviously pushed in to up the titilation factor. It really is that kind of film.The novelty factor of seeing the two leads pre-fame in such nonsense made it just about bearable to watch the film until conclusion.Thankfully I got the film for free...which was why I've given it one star!
If I could give minus stars...........2004-02-06
This is a terrible "film". Its not even a film, really. Its a very poor, low budget soft porn show. The plot is awful, the acting all that can be expected when the main "stars" of the film are a pop-star turned Eastender and someone from the Spelling camp of acting. Kemp shows his limits in acting ability - I thought him very good in the Krays, and quite good in (almost exactly the same role in) Eastenders - he is an extraordinarily one dimensional actor, and this role is not for him. Milano's "innocent" character lacks any story telling and directional personallity - in fact it is barely a character, more an excuse to show flesh.
Terrible terrible terrible. If you've got a great thing to see milano's flesh, then you "might" enjoy this on some depraved level - but don't expect a film you can watch without feeling uncomfortable. Certainly not a film to watch with a partner - unless you really do find this lame "naughtiness" a turn on.
If you want Vampires, watch Interview with the Vampire, Blade, Blade two, even Queen of the Damned (this film makes QoD look like a very slick Hollywood epic masterpiece). If you want soft porn, watch Boogie Nights, Basic Instinct, or some other, not so grubby feeling film with at least a bit of depth in character. If you just want to see flesh, buy some trashy harder porn, or go to a strip club.
Charmed indeed - if you have a healthy appetite for cheese.......2003-08-29
There will always be a great pulling power to small, mostly forgotten movies starring now well known actors and (more frequently) actresses getting naked and naughty 'before they were famous.' In which case the distributors of this little picture must be rubbing their hands with glee, for they have not one but two popular stars getting down and dirty, back in 1994: Martin Kemp and (most significantly) Alyssa Milano.
Anyone approaching Embrace Of The Vampire should be clear on one thing straight away: this is not horror. This is that curious model of glossy, well-groomed softcore that would like to be known as 'Erotica' but is now more commonly known on these shores as 'Channel 5 Porn.' Given that the cover of this edition bears a recommendation from that cornerstone of British journalism, The Sport, its quite clear to whom the distributors expect this disc to appeal. And I won't lie: I'm a big fan of Charmed, and my main impetus behind buying this was to see the fabulous Ms Milano in states of undress. And, as such, this film was in no way a disappointment. Voyeuristic naughty boys like myself should be more than satisfied by the ammount of Alyssa on display here.
Interesting to note, however, that while this is most likely to be of interest to horny men, the writers and director of this film are in fact women. Clearly this is intended to be a provocative exploration into burgeoning female sexuality, as Alyssa's Catholic virgin falls deeper into desire under the dreamlike influence of Kemp's Vampire, who believes she is his lost love from his mortal days reincarnated. But it's no surprise that the scenarios and character developments are more than a little on the unconvincing side. It doesn't help matters that Kemp is so terribly miscast: his vocal mannersims are clumsy, his performance misjudged, his wardrobe frankly perplexing (now we know where Spike from Buffy got his look...).
Even so, it is refreshing to see a vampire movie that doesn't lapse into another apocalyptic battle scenario, and deals soley with the sexual side of the mythology. But all in all the greatest amusement comes from the frequent, unabashed use of trashy romance novel melodramatics. Behold how Alyssa's flowing white gown blows in the breeze as she walks (chest first) in a trance under the full moon; laugh loudly as the exposure of her breasts is accompanied by a gasp and a sudden surge in the music. Few people will admit to liking this sort of thing in public, myself included; but hey, so long as it's behind closed doors and between consenting adults, there's no one standing in judgement here.
Alyssa Milano is yummy...........2003-07-27
As quite a few of the people in this film will attest as they spend quite a lot of it licking and kissing her. Alyssa's most sensuous flim role, a slightly gothic feel with an okay plot but really worth getting if you're an Alyssa fan.
Customer Reviews:
Out of the way Kemp I'm trying to see Alyssa!.......2004-03-01
Without apologies I got this because Alyssa Milano played an eye-filling role in it early in her career, and she still looks as drop dead gorgeous these days on the tv series 'Charmed'.
I wouldn't be a watch every show type, but she is simply so perfectly beautiful I decided to treat myself.
Not much to say.......2004-02-26
For anyone interested in watching this film one thing to say..."Don't bother". The acting is so poor it's laughable, the plot is wafer thin and there are some scenes that are very cliched lazy attempts at soft porn. There is a scene for example when the heroine, Milano, who is playing a virginal, frigid student brought up by nuns allows her self to be seduced by a lesbian student just after moralistically telling her boyfriend that they should hold off until marriage.This scene was obviously pushed in to up the titilation factor. It really is that kind of film.The novelty factor of seeing the two leads pre-fame in such nonsense made it just about bearable to watch the film until conclusion.Thankfully I got the film for free...which was why I've given it one star!
If I could give minus stars...........2004-02-06
This is a terrible "film". Its not even a film, really. Its a very poor, low budget soft porn show. The plot is awful, the acting all that can be expected when the main "stars" of the film are a pop-star turned Eastender and someone from the Spelling camp of acting. Kemp shows his limits in acting ability - I thought him very good in the Krays, and quite good in (almost exactly the same role in) Eastenders - he is an extraordinarily one dimensional actor, and this role is not for him. Milano's "innocent" character lacks any story telling and directional personallity - in fact it is barely a character, more an excuse to show flesh.
Terrible terrible terrible. If you've got a great thing to see milano's flesh, then you "might" enjoy this on some depraved level - but don't expect a film you can watch without feeling uncomfortable. Certainly not a film to watch with a partner - unless you really do find this lame "naughtiness" a turn on.
If you want Vampires, watch Interview with the Vampire, Blade, Blade two, even Queen of the Damned (this film makes QoD look like a very slick Hollywood epic masterpiece). If you want soft porn, watch Boogie Nights, Basic Instinct, or some other, not so grubby feeling film with at least a bit of depth in character. If you just want to see flesh, buy some trashy harder porn, or go to a strip club.
Charmed indeed - if you have a healthy appetite for cheese.......2003-08-29
There will always be a great pulling power to small, mostly forgotten movies starring now well known actors and (more frequently) actresses getting naked and naughty 'before they were famous.' In which case the distributors of this little picture must be rubbing their hands with glee, for they have not one but two popular stars getting down and dirty, back in 1994: Martin Kemp and (most significantly) Alyssa Milano.
Anyone approaching Embrace Of The Vampire should be clear on one thing straight away: this is not horror. This is that curious model of glossy, well-groomed softcore that would like to be known as 'Erotica' but is now more commonly known on these shores as 'Channel 5 Porn.' Given that the cover of this edition bears a recommendation from that cornerstone of British journalism, The Sport, its quite clear to whom the distributors expect this disc to appeal. And I won't lie: I'm a big fan of Charmed, and my main impetus behind buying this was to see the fabulous Ms Milano in states of undress. And, as such, this film was in no way a disappointment. Voyeuristic naughty boys like myself should be more than satisfied by the ammount of Alyssa on display here.
Interesting to note, however, that while this is most likely to be of interest to horny men, the writers and director of this film are in fact women. Clearly this is intended to be a provocative exploration into burgeoning female sexuality, as Alyssa's Catholic virgin falls deeper into desire under the dreamlike influence of Kemp's Vampire, who believes she is his lost love from his mortal days reincarnated. But it's no surprise that the scenarios and character developments are more than a little on the unconvincing side. It doesn't help matters that Kemp is so terribly miscast: his vocal mannersims are clumsy, his performance misjudged, his wardrobe frankly perplexing (now we know where Spike from Buffy got his look...).
Even so, it is refreshing to see a vampire movie that doesn't lapse into another apocalyptic battle scenario, and deals soley with the sexual side of the mythology. But all in all the greatest amusement comes from the frequent, unabashed use of trashy romance novel melodramatics. Behold how Alyssa's flowing white gown blows in the breeze as she walks (chest first) in a trance under the full moon; laugh loudly as the exposure of her breasts is accompanied by a gasp and a sudden surge in the music. Few people will admit to liking this sort of thing in public, myself included; but hey, so long as it's behind closed doors and between consenting adults, there's no one standing in judgement here.
Alyssa Milano is yummy...........2003-07-27
As quite a few of the people in this film will attest as they spend quite a lot of it licking and kissing her. Alyssa's most sensuous flim role, a slightly gothic feel with an okay plot but really worth getting if you're an Alyssa fan.
UK DVD:
- Eureka: Season One (REGION 1) (NTSC)
- Freddy vs Jason [2003]
- Friday The 13th Part Ii [1981]
- Friday The 13th Part III [1982] [1970]
- Fright Night [1985]
- Ginger Snaps [2001]
- Godzilla: Final Wars [2004] (REGION 1) (NTSC)
- Gremlins 2 - The New Batch [1990]
- Grudge 2, The [2006]
- Grudge, The
UK DVD List
UK DVD
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